"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength (Mark 12:30)." 

This verse has been on my mind for the past few months. In my strive to become a better Christian, I sometimes forget Who this is all about. I start reaching for perfection instead of the One Who is truly perfect.

I used to think I must not love God because I didn't feel all fuzzy and warm when I thought about Him. I distinctly remember standing in a Nazarene Youth Conference service and watching as my friends and over a thousand other teens raised their hands to God, some with tears streaming down their faces.

And I felt nothing.

My conclusion: I must not love God.

Since then, I've learned something very important:
 
Love has nothing to do with feelings.

C.S. Lewis, my favorite author, once wrote, "They are told they ought to love God. They cannot find any such feelings in themselves. What are they to do?....Act as if you did. Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings. Ask yourself, 'If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?' When you have found the answer, go and do it (Mere Christianity)."

Feelings that move us to love is a gift from God, but they are not love itself. 

To feel is to be emotional. To love with your heart is so much more.

So l've removed the popular idea that to love with my heart means to feel something all the time. If that were true, most of us would love God about once a year.

To me, loving God with all my heart means to find complete satisfaction in Him. Not physical satisfaction, but deep, real satisfaction. It is to treasure Him above all things, to never settle for less, for earthly desires and material possessions. It is to be completely devoted to Him. It is to turn to Him no matter how crabby I feel when I wake up in the morning. It is to trust Him. It is to know that He is Lord.
 
When I begin to fall away and fill my heart with idols, I cling to this prayer from Psalm 51:10-12, a cry of David:

"Creat in me a pure heart, Oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant a willing spirit to sustain me."

The beautiful thing is, God has already given us His answer:

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26)."